This dilemma illustrates Radical Conformity Principles 5, 6, and 10 – seeing clearly, understanding how the system actually works, and flowing with the world rather than fighting it.
‘I’m at my wits’ end. I need to decide if I should stay or go. If I stay, I’ve no idea how to survive and make it work.’
Those were the first words Rex said to me. COO of one of the largest corporations of its type in the US. Founded decades ago with a remarkable USP, immensely profitable, revered externally – and on the inside, broken.
The founder, recognising the need to change, had brought in a wave of talented executives to modernise the business. Rex was one of them. Several years later, he was one of the few still standing – and barely that.
What had happened was both predictable and brutal. The old guard had closed ranks. They had convinced the founder that the new ideas threatened his legacy. United and determined, they had systematically marginalised the outsiders.
Rex had lost his boss, the man who had hired him as his successor. He had lost most of his responsibility. He found himself doing work he hadn’t done in twenty years. And yet leaving felt like surrender – after a thirty-year career built on standards and professional pride, walking away was not in his nature.
‘I never expected to end up in this position. I know I can help this company, if only they’d let me in.’
What I saw immediately
Rex was fighting the wrong battle. Not because he lacked capability or courage – but because what he was looking at wasn’t actually what was happening.
The situation that appeared to be about him – his ideas, his position, his survival – was in reality something far more impersonal and, once seen clearly, far more navigable. A predictable dynamic was playing out with almost mechanical logic beneath the surface of the politics. Rex couldn’t see it because he was inside it, reacting to what it felt like rather than reading what it actually was.
That diagnosis changed everything. Once the system was visible for what it truly was rather than what it appeared to be, the path forward emerged naturally. Not through force or clever manoeuvring – through clarity.
I shared several things with Rex that shifted his thinking immediately.
Stop taking it personally. This was group behaviour driven by fear, not a verdict on his capability.
Step back from the emotional reaction entirely. The only way to move forward safely was cool analysis, rational judgement, and precise action. Emotion could return once the course was clear – not before.
Reconnect with his own goals. Not the company’s goals. His. At moments like this, total clarity about what you want for yourself is the only reliable compass.
And finally – accept reality as it actually was, not as it appeared to be. Once Rex could see the system clearly, the path forward became visible. The details of how we worked through it are his, not mine to share. But the shift from fighting a battle he couldn’t win to navigating a system he finally understood – that happened in a single conversation.
This is Radical Conformity in its most demanding form. Not submission. Not rebellion. The disciplined intelligence to read a system accurately and find the move that serves everyone – including yourself.
Thirty days later
The turnaround was remarkable.
Rex decided to adopt an open mind and reach out for facts rather than confirmation of his grievances. He had a frank conversation with one of the CEOs. The result was an astonishing revelation – he had fundamentally misread the situation. In important ways, he had been sabotaging his own position without realising it.
From that conversation, everything shifted. He formed an alliance with his direct boss, who – to Rex’s surprise – was navigating a similar challenge. He began to believe he could win over six of the seven senior executives. And something even more significant happened internally.
Just listening to him on our next call was remarkable. For three years he had been tearing his hair out. Frustrated. Insulted. Angry. Thirty days later – motivated, confident, positive, and energised. Firing on all cylinders in a way he hadn’t since earlier in his career.
That isn’t to say the work was done. Habits take time to break and rebuild. But the internal contest was live again. And a few seeds had been quietly planted to escalate his ambition well beyond his current role. There was far more to play for.
What made this possible
Not every situation like Rex’s resolves this way. Several factors were present that made the turnaround feasible – the right disposition, the willingness to challenge his own assumptions, and the courage to modify his thinking without abandoning his integrity.
Where those factors exist, what looks like an impenetrable wall often turns out to have a door.
If you recognise yourself in Rex’s situation – frozen out, politically marginalised, unsure whether to stay or go – the first step is a conversation.